That day, she wrote in her diary –
It was so easy to forget about “us”. I lost all “our” memories soon after I got busy in the new city and its new flavors. Getting admission to the MS course in NewYork was like a dream come true. It wasn’t the reputation of the college but the excitement to be in the foreign land that drew me to it. I was overwhelmed with the multitude of emotions that hit me whenever I looked at the campus, the wide roads, fast cars, and hectic lifestyle. I loved every moment of it. I forgot about the notes and assignments we exchanged during exams, the long walks, the short and sweet arguments, the misunderstandings, the pampering and so on. I was too busy trying to absorb the city in myself or rather, let the city absorb me.
Yes, you tried to reach me. But I had gone too far into my own dreams. I had no time to mail back or pick up your calls. You started losing patience, while I had already lost the zeal to keep the relationship going. Then, you stopped trying; and I felt relieved. I didn’t think of you again. I had no regrets whatsoever. I didn’t even feel guilty.I avoided coming back to India, despite repeated requests, and even threats from my family. I felt alienated from everyone. And no, I didnt feel like coming back to you either.
That was – until today.
I saw you today, sipping tea in your balcony. Even from that distance I could see the grey highlights in your hair. You were talking to someone, perhaps your wife. The contentment on your face narrated the story of years gone by. At that moment, I was hit by a strange sense of loss. I could not hide from the memories anymore. And I realized that they would now haunt me forever. This was my first trip to India and would possibly be the last one.I would go back to my preferred home tomorrow, but this time, my baggage would only contain my shattered dreams.