Milestones

I must say that sometimes “well-wishers” can be really annoying. For example a friend of mine keeps mentioning how her daughter had achieved the milestones pretty much in advance. I really don’t understand the reason for such pride on her daughter’s achievements and my daughter’s “lack of proper development”. As far as I know and from what my daughter’s doctor tells me, she is quite within the average range when it comes to development. No, she hasn’t started sitting yet, and she is quite a tiny baby, but I am not worried about that. We still have few more months to go before we get alarmed. She might not have started saying “ma” or “pa” but she communicates with us through her smiles, giggles and cries. I feel that she is doing pretty good for her age (I guess all mothers feel that way), and I am under no pressure to make sure that she starts sitting/interacting more and achieve her milestones sooner than average kids.

Why is everyone in such a great hurry? We expect kids to perform much more than their capabilities. We compare other kids to those of ours and our kids to those of others’. We get trapped in our own insecurities and try to make up for our shortcomings through achievements of our kids. If my daughter learns to sit a little later than others, what is wrong in that? She has to sit/walk/run anyway in future. Her learning/development phase might be a little more prolonged than others, but she would do it eventually. And this is just the beginning. I am sure once she joins school/college/career, there would be more analysis giving way to more comparisons between her and others. It is then the responsibility of the parents to make sure that they don’t let themselves or their kids trying to fulfill larger than life expectations and in turn leading to an irreversible damage.

I know parenting can’t be planned and sometimes we have to mould our principles to adapt to the changing circumstances, but atleast we can try our best to make sure that we give our kids the childhood that they deserve and let them savor each moment as it comes rather than trying to hasten the whole process of growing up.

10 thoughts on “Milestones

  1. I dont know why people do that. I met my relatives yesterday after 3 years and the first thing my chacha said to his dd is Hey stand beside Ashwina(my eldest) and see who is talller. ARGHH!

  2. 🙂

    first time here! and i know just what you mean!! hehe! Cub is actually slower than average range! i mean he rolled over at six months! held his head at nine months now! doc said he has a low muscle tone, but theres nothing to owrry about since he is progessing well!

    and really who cares! do you think when he goes for his job interview they will ask him/her what age did you walk at?? i mean who really cares!!

    i really dont care at all anymore as long as i see Cubby doing l’il better everytime!! at his own pace!!

    cheers!

  3. Karry says:

    Its been quite some time since I have responded so positively to any blog. But I must compliment you on the way you have published and maintained your blogs. Some of your blogs are quite sensitive and they really touch your heart. I agree completely with your rational judgement and feel that all of us should a same perspective atleast while parenting.

    Wishing you luck and success.

  4. I agree with Abha, it doesn’t matter at all, but to look or have for certain standards is a basic human desire or maybe need also, e.g. uski saari meri saari se zayaada safed kaise 😉 Please
    don’t take comparisons personally, if you don’t want to be bogged down.

    I have an eight month old child as long as he’s smiles back, laughs along and cries (only for food and my company), it’s almost perfect.

  5. pathania;
    That’s nice! Not may parents are as cool as you!! I guess your child is really lucky… 🙂
    I am sure the parents who are so paranoid about all these issues are the ones who would pressurize their children into becoming ‘doctors and engineers’! God help them and their kids!!

  6. ha! ha! thanks, Puja for your kind words, एक कूल व्यक्ती ही, दूसरे कूल व्यक्ति को पहचान सकता हए ! (only a cool person knows another cool person) 😉

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