Years ago, while I was studying in college (yeah, that seems like a million years ago now!), a close friend of mine declared (publicly) that she was jealous of me. I was stunned. And so were others who heard that. There were lot of ‘Tsst tssts’ behind her back. Even I was taken aback by this blunt confession.
I was young then. Immature and perhaps stupid. I didn’t understand that she displayed a very honest and inspiring trait. She never hurt me or tried to put me down. Instead she just worked and tried harder. In more ways than one, she was and still is a better person than me. Her so called ‘jealousy’ gave her a direction and path to tread upon. And we just stood there doing nothing but ‘tsst tsst’!! She taught me a great lesson – of being able to differentiate between the different variants of envy. And appreciate the fact that it can be driving force for some. And there is nothing wrong in it.
I have ‘grown up’ now, especially after witnessing both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ kinds of envy. The uglier one is what pulls us down, along with the one we nurse it against. And I am sure it must be really a tiring effort to analyze each and every word spoken/written, each emotion displayed and extract the ‘deep hidden’ meanings just to get one more weapon to attack with.
I miss that friend now. She showed me the brighter side of a negative emotion. She made me learn how to channelize my own negativity and use it for good.
I miss you Sups. I really do!