It is strange, isn’t it, that despite knowing how important our health is, we continue to abuse our bodies, neglect ourselves till the point it all breaks down! And then we are left with nothing but regret.
I crossed thirty a few years back. I know the limitations of my body. And yet, I don’t care for it. Despite reminding myself over and over again, I continue to make the same mistakes! What do you call it? Careless?Callous? I call it Criminal.I do go for morning walks .. but of late I have been skipping them rather frequently, giving all lame excuses. I put it on A or Diya. I keep complaining that they don’t wake up early and so it makes me feel demotivated! I know I am wrong. And yet…
I take pride in the fact that throughout my pregnancy and after Diya’s birth, despite medical complications, feeding routines etc, my Hb count and Calcium levels were high enough to have my doctors smiling at me! I thanked my mother and her two-full-glass-milk-a-day rule at home. But as they say, you can’t survive only on the good deeds of your parents. You need to take it a little further. I am sorry,NO.. I am ashamed to say that I haven’t been a good girl. I haven’t been eating properly, or drinking milk. The worst part is that it shows. Low stamina, mood swings…. well… they are just indicators, aren’t they?
A few days back I came across picture of the new mommy Aishwarya Rai and along with it a number of comments on how good it is for her to not bother about weight and concentrate on the bigger and more important task at hand – taking care of the baby! Inspiring! And it did make me ease my guilt – but that was momentary. I realized that I still look like a new mommy. Which is not a bad thing – if I was one! But It’s been four and half years. Back then, I didn’t worry about the growing fat deposits since I was afraid it would affect the feeding cycle. Still I had two and half years – of no excuse. There is nothing but pure laziness on my part that got me to this place – where the mirror and the camera shy away, and people have started wondering if the ‘good-news’ is on the way!!
Every morning, I wake up with a dull ache in my body. Every night I go to sleep with a regret in my heart. It can’t go on forever. I can’t shy away from what I have become. And I can’t put the blame on anyone else but myself.