it all comes back, in waves, each stronger than the one before. The memories of smiles, teasing, laughs, the complexities of managing family occasions, and even the ugly truths hidden behind colorful veils!
All of it.
One by one.
And I wonder if what I am feeling right now is that of missing those moments or relief of being away from it all.
Weird and definitely ironical!
The long and chatty walk in the sunny morning
The impromptu masala dosa for breakfast at MTR
The coffee break with silly conversations
Catching up a silly Rom-com on Netflix in a language that I don’t understand, relying completely on the subtitles!
….. yeah… the day has definitely started on a very positive note!
I don’t think I have the capability to understand and appreciate issues like renaming cities/roads etc, fight between temple/mosque or who eats what.
I am more affected by and hence interested in the infrastructure of my city, the condition of roads, better education, healthcare and food.
To sum it up, in the modern world, my needs and demands are still pretty basic. I haven’t ‘evolved’ enough to even think about these ‘higher’ and more important (to some) issues.
… I am glad to be away into my own turtle shell of a home!
It is sad that I can’t be everywhere I am needed.
Actually strike that.
Considering the chaos I bring in, it is good that I can’t be everywhere I am ‘supposedly’ needed 😉
I say it with complete sincerity.. There are times I keep myself away when certain results are being announced. It is not because I can’t keep my own jittery nerves in check, but more because I have this nagging feeling that if I turn my back to it, the news would turn out to be a good one! Call it the ‘jinx’ effect or my ‘running away’.. but that is how it is.
…………………….
Some days, I am just overwhelmed – with all range of emotions – Love, Anger, Guilt, Sadness… so much so that I can’t even distinguish the exact state of mind at a given time. No, it is not the hormonal imbalance. It is just that there is so much happening and yet there is absolutely nothing. I want everything as it was in past, AND I want to move on to a new future. The familiarity of what I have and the thrill of what I can have is perhaps one of the many contradictions in my life that I struggle with. Many (including myself) would say that that this is a typical first world problem, which is funny, because I still am in a very third world country.
Some time back, a very good friend sent me a video. I believe that my mental state was pretty evident when that video was being sent.. as it was all about procrastination. It fit me so perfectly!
Inside the mind of a master procrastinator | Tim Urban – YouTube
At the end, there is so much to do, so many thoughts, so little time, and here I am, like a headless chicken, clueless and perhaps too lazy to get them started at-least!
Of having this blog…
One of the few long lasting committed relationship I have ever been in 😉
When the event your loved one was so looking forward to gets canceled…
It’s sad and heartbreaking to even think about all the efforts and hard work put in vain.
Being allured by the idea of having something OR actually having it?
Five Senses ... 