– the warmth of my mother putting a blanket over me as I take my rare and unplanned afternoon nap right on the livingroom sofa. These days, Bangalore is rather cold during the evenings leading me to these untimely snoozes! It makes me miss Solan more than ever, and also the concern of my mother that I might be cold.
The newspaper report read –
“Wife kills husband, cuts the body in three hundred pieces”
“I just wanted to see what he is made of “, she explained.
The bus terminus was as crowded as ever. She felt as if she recognized everyone over there. Her stomach was in knots due to nervousness and anticipation. Would he be there? How would he look like? It had been ten years since she had last met him. They had said an amicable good bye to each other before getting married to their respective spouses, the ones their parents had chosen for them. After all parents know the best. A few days back she had come to know of his divorce. It was an irony, since she too was undergoing divorce procedures. Relationships based on only compromises don’t last for very long. She was not sure if he still loved her. The uncertainty was killing her. The feeling was similar to what she had felt on her first journey to college after she realized she was in love with him, her best friend. She had spent the entire six hours praying to God that he too falls in love with her, and her prayers were answered when she saw him waiting for her at the college bus stop, with flowers in his hand. Can that happen again? Would God listen to her prayers yet again? Would the old mantra still work? Would she have the second chance in life?
He caught her staring at him and his wife having tea together on their veranda. Strangely enough, it didn’t cause any flutter in his heart unlike earlier years. He had once loved her with great passion, but with time and rejection it had fizzled out. Was his love really as superficial as it seemed right now? Who was to be blamed? Was it her who was too involved with her new life that she refused to acknowledge his presence, or was there something lacking from his side? He would never know. She turned her face away, pretending to look at the children playing on the road. He noticed a momentary gleam in her eyes. She had always loved kids. He wondered if she had some of her own. The idea of she being with someone else pained him. He had believed that years of loneliness had made him immune to such feelings. He went inside the house, unable to withstand the flooding of emotions. Did he still love her? No, he did not. But he did feel a tinge of sadness and regret of having let her go so easily. After all, she was his first love.
Thank You Chandni for making me take a pause and realize that I am living a rather blissful life!
There are times when I miss being at office and even the extra cash in hand 😉 , but then times like these
make up for all that!
Love the weather (its really delicious – stealing the term from a friend.. Seema, are you reading this?), the drizzle, the cool breeze, hot tea, not much housework to worry about, curling up in bed with Diya, a few good magazines…. and yes, Life does seem to be pretty good 🙂
– I feel she is slipping away from me..
Diya – trying to sit..
Ludku Ram 🙂
I am tired of hearing phrases like ‘The ‘spirit’ of City x or y or z’ every time there is some calamity hitting them. If in India people bounce back to their normal lives soon after the tragedy hits them, is it because of their ‘spirit’ or because of their helplessness? A news channel today narrated the ‘spirit’ of a cobbler who rushed back from the hospital after someone told him that his tools have been stolen. Can a poor man afford to rest in the hospital when he knows that his very livelihood is being taken away from him? Does he have the luxury of time to recover? Why do we shy away from the fact that he has no option but to start living a ‘normal’ life?
Well, Friday is no longer a reason to cheer for 😦 . There was a time when I used to eagerly wait for this day – reason? – Its movie time!!!! But not anymore… I remember waiting desperately for ‘Khoya Khoya Chand’, and then planning with friends to watch it on 7th dec, 07. But Diya madam chose to announce her arrival and I had to get admitted on that very day. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to watch any movie in Theater, not a big deal as most of you might say. But IT IS A BIG DEAL for me!!! I am an avid movie goer, and usually don’t miss any movie that has even one good (sometimes even bad) reason to go for. And so I get all cranky on Fridays. We did test our luck once, and got tickets for ‘Race’. After ‘analyzing’ Diya’s sleeping habits, we concluded that evening show would be the best option and so got the tickets for 8:45pm show. We were so relieved when the lady slept at around 7:00 pm, and going by past record, was expected to sleep till 10/11 pm. As luck would have it, she woke up at 8:30pm sharp and started crying (no, howling would be the more apt word for it). There was no way then that we could have continued with our movie plans. And so, we came back disappointed, and me heartbroken. But I didn’t want to spoil our evening, and so we all left for Ramanagaram, a place that is around 70kms from Bangalore on Bangalore-Mysore highway. What is it famous for? Well Cafe Coffee day which is open 24hrs a day…. And so, the otherwise dull evening had a bright and caffeinated ending!!
Don’t we all go through this? There is a song in my head today. I have no idea what triggered it! But thankfully this is one of the songs that I truly like unlike some unfortunate days when all that I can think of is “sona kitna sona hai“!!
So, today it is Patti Smith’s “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough”.
The lyrics are:
Now, I don’t want to lose you
but I don’t want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don’t want to hate you,
I don’t want to take you
but I don’t want to be the one to cry.
And that don’t really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
(Chorus)
But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you
I don’t want to blame you.
Baby, you don’t have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something’s gonna change.
(Chorus)
And there’s no way home
when it’s late at night and you’re all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?
And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart they can’t touch.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain’t enough.
Baby, sometimes, love… it just ain’t enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No
(Taken from here)
And the video is
I first heard this song on MTV when it was newly launched in India. Me and my sister were hooked! We loved Sophiya haque, Chang and other VJs that got quite popular. This song in particular reminds me of the lazy afternoons, ‘trying’ to prepare lunch, waiting for parents to come back from office and of course the looong discussions with friends about the latest songs heard on TV…
Five Senses ... 
