Grappling with a million struggles,
fighting with the ghosts of past.
Each one of us has a sad story
tucked in the farthest corner of our heart.
If we care and look around
We would find our mirrored selves
in different forms and different shapes
trapped in small and stuffy worlds.
This is what vacations are for!!
To make you realize that life goes beyond the dimensions we limit ourselves with.
To make you wonder at how much more food you can eat!
and whether there ever was a phase when you were averse to it (remember pregnancy!!)
To fall in love all over again –
with yourself
family
and the place you belong to.
To forget to even look at watch
Not realize your mobile had been switched off for two days!
To start day-dreaming again.
Look forward to day ahead!
In all, feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the grind again!!
And since there is cricket fever in the air, How can I not but end this ‘rejuvenated’ post with today’s dose of Amul poster!!!
Pic from here
The entire family is waiting for wednesday..
Having decided the menu for the entire day, peace is visible on Mother’s face.
So breakfast is the usual aloo-paranthas while lunch is hurried veg biriyani.
For snacks it would be bread pakoras (easy and quick)
And dinner would be home delivered pizza..
All household chores would have to be completed BEFORE lunch.
Father has to take half day off from work.
For fillers (if there is space left), there always is moongfali-gud (groundnuts + jaggery)
And regular shots of masala tea.
All these thoughts and preparations just for ONE match! That is how crazy we are about the game…
And I am pretty sure this is how it is going to be in almost every house tomorrow!
And though it is not the ‘game’ but the ‘match’ we are interested in, the technicalities would still be discussed and decisions would be dissected with lots of profanities thrown in . Silent prayers, loud cheers, and constant chattering amongst us.. This is how it has always been… and this is how I wish it to be this time too!!
Hope we all have GOOD time tomorrow!!
Pic from here
Each one of us has a tale to tell.. Tale of pain and hurt. Events that change the way we look at ourselves and the people around us, leaving scars that stay forever. Shouldn’t we look back and wonder if it could have been prevented? Shouldn’t past make us more informed about how to deal with future?
In April, a few bloggers are coming together to share their experiences, thoughts and strategies to deal with CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE. And I am supporting them by being a part of it.
Can just blogging about it change anything?
I believe this can be the first step, considering the hush-hush nature of this issue. The more we know, the more aware we become. And that helps in dealing with this major parenting issue (whether you are a parent yourself or a parent’s well-wisher).
So across the month of April 2011, over 40 bloggers in the blogosphere will come together to post on various aspects of Child Sexual Abuse in a bid to create awareness about an issue which affects over 50 per cent of children. This, the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month April 2011, will run across their blogs as well as the CSA blog, which will be . In addition to these posts, the CSAAM blog will feature survivor stories, posts by experts and NGOs working in these fields. Through this concerted effort we hope to bring Child Sexual Abuse out of the closet and teach parents how to educate their children about predators, preventing their children from being abused and knowing how to deal with such a situation should it occur. Our children deserve a safe and happy childhood.
So come join us in the effort and Keep your child safe.
If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries
The list of topics is available here. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured. I will probably be hosting at least one guest post and encourage you to do the same for non-blogging friends.
Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.
U can also support it simply by adding our the logo of the initiative in your blog’s sidebar. Grab the below code to do so
<textarea><a href=”http://csaawarenessmonth.wordpress.com/” target=”blank”><img src=”http://csaawarenessmonth.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/csa-logo.jpg” alt=”” /></a></textarea>
For years, I have been led into believing that one has to be ‘sacrificing’, ‘forgiving’, ‘surrendered to family’ in order to be a ‘good’ person.
It took me a long time to come out of that brain-washing and of trying to be ‘good’ .
I am no preacher of self-centered behavior. But I believe in rational thinking. Being happy should not be a sin. Just as being rich is not a crime. It is how we reach that state of happiness that counts. And so I might be taking care of my home/kid/husband/parents/in-laws, but I look for warmth in return. And in my heart I know that this is not too much to ask for. Relationships cannot be a one-way lane. You can think of yourself or expect others to be saint and cite examples from religious/historical texts. But they are no longer relevant. The underlying emotion of love should not be corrupted by the terms ‘compromise’ or ‘sacrifices’. We all adjust in our relationships. We have to… Not because it’s mentioned in the rulebook but because we WANT to accommodate other person’s desires/needs/shortcomings etc.
Why am I so against the word ‘sacrifice’?
It’s because of the very thought that goes behind it. Of self glorification. If a woman chooses to stay at home and look after her kid, it’s a choice that she makes. She chooses it over other important factors of her life. And though there is a part of her world that she has to let go of, it does give her happiness. The same goes for someone who decides to continue working and leave the kids behind. It’s a win-some, lose-some kind of situation. Now if the SAHM looks back and tells her kids that she sacrificed her career for them, I consider that as unfair. And believe me, such women are there everywhere. The word ‘sacrifice’ has been nothing but an ’emotional blackmailing’ tool for most of them. Isn’t this how certain mothers hold on to their sons and don’t let them be ‘henpecked’ by their spouses?
When you curb your desires every single time, just in the name of adjustment or sacrifice, or a society-norm, the suppression leads to ugliness of character and takes form of a twisted personality. It is not difficult to look around and find someone (either gender) who has been living in their own world full of illusions, passing judgments, and believing what they want to. Their unhealthy minds only spreads the ugliness. They are not evil, but victims of their own circumstances.
This post is not gender-specific and I have seen men who give in to pressures of work/family just to ‘fit-in’. The so called ‘good boys’ don’t stay so forever. Each one of us has an evil side. If we are supposed to be all angelic, good, then someday or the other this evil dimension takes over completely.
Why this post?
I have been on long vacation, meeting people – familiar faces as well as new contacts. And the way they come across is really fascinating. Some are good, in fact too good to be true. A few, I know from my experiences in distant past about what they truly are. The multi-faced characters are not abnormal. They are humans. Some of them are apologetic about what they are while others accept it with grace.
And so I believe in staying human , with all its complexities, confusions, desires, wants, needs….
I am okay with all the negativity that reside within me. I try to improve them but I don’t disown myself in case I am not able to succeed.
And I get irritated when people think of ‘self’ as a person marooned on a lonely island. One is complete only when there is a healthy interaction with family, society etc. And one doesn’t have to be God in order to achieve that. A person with all his/her shortcomings can be as lovable as he/she wants to. Pretense doesn’t take you anywhere. Its effect weans off in a while and the true face is revealed.
It can be labeled as pure ambition
or fodder for a narcissist self.
But I would always acknowledge it as
The raging fire in my heart.
Holding together the strands of life
caressing the many rises and falls,
its warmth has healed a thousand wounds
to stand and make a brand new start.
Especially of these kinds:
So A tells me that he would be reaching Solan on, say, 4th.(He loves giving me surprises)
He tells my parents about the ‘real’ date (3rd) and asks them not tell me (And they don’t!)
I send him a mail wishing him safe journey a day before – just like that.
He suspects that I know something.
And then like all other surprises, tell me the actual plan just before the travel date.
Asks me not to tell my parents that I know 🙂 ….
So now,
A knows that I know
My parents know
They don’t know that I know.
But in reality, we all know!!
So who the surprise is on now??!!!!
During the recent visit to my hometown (Solan), I was both elated and depressed to see the changes. The last visit was around two years back and though the changes had started making themselves visible, it still was the same old town for me. Laid back attitude (which is not necessarily bad!), familiar faces, warmth in the air, empty and well-laid roads, small but well stocked shops and most prominently Happy and Smiling faces…
Where are they now?
As I walk through the familiar lanes, something is missing… The faces that look at you and smiled, encouraging you to go on walking despite the steepness of the path or the daunting challenge of climbing a hundred more steps to reach the other part of the town. They are missing. And I am missing them..
What has changed?
The invasion of new brands, more number of service-oriented centers, becoming an educational hub…..
I am no sociologist and so can’t correctly define the factors leading to this sudden harshness that seems to have taken over the gentle town. But it is definitely heart breaking for me. Earlier the shops I went to welcomed with a warm and inviting smile. They invited me and not just my money bag in.
The current generation has taken over. Replaced the older ones and their out-dated ideas and methods.
The town has been renovated. But not the infrastructure. And though it is not as bad as perhaps other places, it still led to losing the old-world charm that I related Solan with.
But I am still in love
With this beautiful place, its kind and bigheartedness, the comforting smell of a halwai shop, its small but beautiful temples, the numerous picnic spots we had ‘discovered’, our daily ‘gerhis’ on Mall Road, memories of having ice cream when it snowed, the lush green cover, the blue sky, the dark (really dark) nights where you can clearly see the stars, Oh.. just about everything that defines this place!
Me and Diya walking down the road when this guy crosses us and Diya shouts – ‘Momma, See Shahrukh khan!’. The guy looks back at us and smiles (I don’t know whether he liked or hated that remark 😉 ) And I had no idea whether or not to return the smile 🙂
this song!!!
I am playing it over and over again 🙂 and have someone who shares an equal passion – Diya!!
Five Senses ... 
