Love is in the air…

And all I wish to do is close my eyes, swirl around, sing and dance merrily!!

I have been listening to this song since morning today!!

Hor Ki Mangna Main Rab Kolo,
ek Khair Manga Tere Dum Di,
baaj Sajan Lajpaal Tere
Main Ko Jiyan Kehde Kam Di,
Jam jam maan jawaani ve dhola-2
ghadhi vekhevaan koi alam di
ho badar Hamesha Maula Rakhe
Dhola Tainte Nazar Karam Di,

Nit Khair Manga Soniya Main Teri,
dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi,
Tere Pairaan ch Akheer Hove Meri..
dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi…

Tere Pyar Ditta Jado Da Sahara Ve,
maahiya bhul Gaya Mainu Jag Sara ve,
khushi e Ho Mainu Sajna Batheri,
dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi..

Tu Mileya Te Mil Gayi Khudayi Ve,
hath Jodi Akhaan Payin Na Judaayi ve,
mar Javan gi je Akh Main Tho pheri Dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi…

Eho rab kolo mangiyaan duawaan main,
Ala kare teri aayi mar javaan main,
Hathi badar banaavi saadi dheri Dua na koi hor mangdi

Nit Khair Manga Soniya Main Teri,
dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi,
Tere Pairaan ch Akheer Hove Meri..
dua Na Koi Hor Mangdi…

lyrics from here

Growing up with Diya – The smiles and the tears

Diya is a special child (aren’t they all so special and unique!). Perhaps it is the mother love speaking. Or may be it is just that I notice and am awed by her very strong personality –  well… strong for her age that is!

Kids teach us a lot of things. To start with, they teach us to LIVE life. Ever seen a child playing with colors? The hands, dress, table, and even the face might be smeared to the extent of being unrecognizable! And yet, the happiness in the eyes is indescribable! So what do you focus on? The messy dress and the dirty floor? Or the twinkle in those naughty eyes?

I do ask her to clean up the mess! But that is only after we both have enjoyed and laughed and praised ourselves for the wonderful creations – she taking pride in her artwork, and I beam with joy looking at my precious child!

This girl has made me cry on many occasions – mostly out of joy (and sometimes out of frustration!). When I am unwell, or upset about something, she senses that immediately (children are so sensitive.. it is amazing to see how well they decipher even the most carefully hidden emotions through body language). And then she makes me put my head in her lap, comforting with ‘Na na na.. sab theek ho jaayega…. my cutie, mera pyara bachha’. Needless to say, it puts a smile on my face and makes the worst of worries disappear!

I have never been too ambitious in my own professional life. I wonder if that is one of the reasons why I have no unrealistic expectations from Diya as well! It is not that I doubt her capabilities. On the contrary, I think she would be good in whatever she does out of love and her own interest. Another thing that I have learnt about her is that you cannot make her do anything that she doesn’t want. Period. I am not talking about daily chores.  She does help me in cleaning/tidying up the room, putting dirty utensils in the sink, etc. I am referring to her studies, singing, dancing, and other ‘activities’. If she doesn’t want to sing, she won’t sing. No matter how much you may plead or beg or cry! Having known and accepted that now, we have stopped pestering her for any such ‘performance’ when guests/relatives/friends arrive. 🙂

There is only one thing that ticks me off – bad behavior. When your child is loved and pampered by all, chances are that he/she tries to push the boundaries and test how far she can go. It happens with Diya as well.Usually a stern voice helps. In some cases, a short spell of so-hurt-that-we-are-not-talking-to-you also makes her realize that we are very upset, and she promptly comes with ‘Sorry Momma/Papa’.  In worst situations… well.. I still haven’t figured out how to deal with them!!! Still learning, You see!

 

No time for love

She opened her mailbox for the hundredth time in the day.

Scores of spam mails.

A few friends had sent some highly philosophical forwarded mails.

Her best friend wrote some kind and encouraging words, urging her to come out of her home and fix up a meeting.

She went through each mail, reading them word by word before finally hitting the DELETE button.

In her drafts, lay a month old mail which she had written when it was decided that enough was enough and that there was no way she could avoid confronting her emotions.  The mere thought of sending that mail made her nervous. Was she ready for a commitment yet? Would she be able to devote herself completely? There were a million things to be done at home and office. Where was the time? Or energy?

She logged out of her mailbox. Her eyes were moist, speaking tales of grief and torture. She could not afford to do it now. She would send the mail to her dance teacher some other time. Dancing was her first love. And it had loved her back.  But for now, the dance classes would have to wait – till she was free of her responsibilities and low confidence.

Protected: A mother’s heart – 1

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A good morning

– starts with a sweet compliment!!

 

Who doesn’t like being praised? Especially if it is for something that holds a lot of value for you.  

 

Being a mother, one is always surrounded by guilt, self-doubt, (baseless) fears, expectations…And so if out of nowhere, you are greeted with a warm smile and told that you are doing a good job raising up your daughter, it feels good!

Nameless..

The half-hearted hollow smile.

The dry tears in her eyes.

The blank expression.

The honest confession.

The chaotic mess.

The confused self.

The name she once rejoiced in.

The life that she could never live.

The fake halo thrust upon her head

The expectations from her fragile heart.

The story that she never told

The name that she could not behold.

The hopes and dreams put to rest.

The innocence of life comes to an end.

 

 

 

 

Pic from here

Right now..

I am sitting on my bed staring at the laptop, wondering what to read next, and writing my thoughts in this text area.

I can hear a few birds chirping outside.

I see sunlight on my bed, on the walls, and loving the glow it has on my image in the mirror 🙂

I don’t hear Diya’s voice.. wonder what she is upto! ‘Itna sannata’ – means a disaster foretold! On second thoughts, she might be ‘coloring’ dreams on the book gifted by her grandparents, possibly forced one of them to sit next to her and ‘teach’ how to color!

I have a very bad headache..

I want to fly away to a distant land – preferably with a sea beach!!

I am thanking God for my wonderful family and friends and their unconditional love and support for me.

I am so confused about my career… where to go from here?

I wish I was not ‘me’ for a day, and observe silently if  ‘me’ is doing the right thing by being the way she is 😉

I am listening to …

 

 

 

 

Eleven questions – Tagged By Bikram

Thank You Bikram.. You are a kind soul, who gave me something to write about just as when I was about to take a short break from blogging again!

 

 

The Rules:
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged. (Lets see If i can manage to do that)
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

 

1. Done

2. Here they are

1.  What is it that you love to do, most, and would rather spend your time doing it?

Sitting in the balcony of a beach cottage, reading my favorite book, while my loved ones are nearby, doing their own stuff 😉

2.What do you think others think of you?

I am sure different people have different views of me! For some I might be a kind and friendly soul, while for others,i am an arrogant bi%$h 🙂

3.Where do you see yourself end the next 10 years.

Would I still be around? I am not sure…. But if I do, I would still be hunting for myself amidst this great chaos called life.

4. What is one quality of yours you admire the most.

I can never be invisible. I make my presence known – intentionally or unintentionally. It has made me suffer as well.. but look at the positive side – I get noticed – every time, everywhere 😉

5. Have you played a trick on someone that went bad, What is it.

There are so many….. most of them went bad, of course. But they are too silly to be mentioned here!

6.Who would you say made you who you are today (other than your parents, if that is what you would answer )

My childhood friends- V, The K sisters, my college friends (Gs, Ak, Ad, Pg, Vs), hubby, some friends from work,  two cute sisters (T and SS) , Diya . a life altering experience, and of course my own self!

7. What gives you joy?

Traveling and reading… Especially when done together.

8.Who is your favourite hero and Why.

I am my own favorite hero… because I know how to get up and smile after every fall..

9.Why do you blog.

There was a time in my life when I cut myself off from everyone who mattered – friends, family… everyone. I guess blogging is just a way to compensate for that loss.. And now I connect with even those who are not known to me, some of them don’t matter to me, while I don’t matter to the most of them.

10.Do you believe in love stories , if yes why

Love – I believe in. Love stories – I used to.

11.Tell us an incident that you remember always.

That one time when I faced death from a very close quarter. It made me get up and realize the worth of life that I had been taking so casually till then.

 

3. By now every single blogger must have already done this tag, considering how interesting it is. So if you are a blogger, and haven’t done it yet, then please take this one up.. You can pick up Bikram’s questions! They certainly are intelligent and entertaining!

4. Of course, you know now.. don’t you!!

Protected: Coping up…

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Kahaani

 

What a thriller!!

Spoiler Alert: Please don’t read it further if you haven’t seen it yet..

It was a last minute plan and we made it just in time (Thanks to the initial advertisements, less traffic and RoyalEnfield 😉 ). Since we hadn’t booked in advance, we could get seats in the row that was second from the screen. But since we are very ‘positive’ people, we decided that it gave the screen a 3-D effect 😉

I wanted to watch this movie ever since the promos had come out. It seemed to be an interesting plot. But you realize how deep it is only as the story progresses. By interval, you are so much with the characters that it becomes difficult to see the obvious. I believe that is what a good thriller is all about.

The best part about this movie is the character-sketching. Each of them is lovingly developed. The events, the setups, the details – amazingly clear and logical. I do have a couple of issues though.  The most important one is the flashback scenes in the movie. I can understand the dilemma faced by the director. If the flashback scenes were truthful, the entire thrill would have been lost. But it could have been restricted to only those instances where Vidya’s character was narrating her case to others. In solitude, such flashbacks convey an entirely different meaning which may not irritate you then but they mock you after you have come out of the movie hall.

Vidya Balan is as superb and a delight to watch on screen.

Parambrata Chatterjee as Satyaki Sinha/Rana is sweet and charming. Also the moment where he develops a crush (?) on Vidya Bagchi is so beautifully captured.
Nawazuddin Siddiqui as Khan  is convincing as an easy-to-hate IB Officer
Saswata Chatterjee as Bob Biswas is scary. And also the proof that there are monsters beneath sweet masks.

Other characters too help in building up as well as retaining the interest in the movie.

I liked the climax. (And if I may please go off-topic once again – A white saree with red border can convert any woman into a Goddess! ) And I loved the small yet significant things set in the backdrop of this movie.

I give it 4 of 5 stars as per my ratings.

Picture from here